“I stood on the peak. Face to face with the sun. I closed my eyes as it warmed my frozen skin. Inhaled deep, fresh air, breathed it in. They were all there…spirits were high, And it sounds crazy, but I could’ve sworn I could fly,
My soul was lifted back to humankind’s greatest elevation, in this found wanderer’s celebration.The triumphant views did sing Cascading melodies of the redeemed”
the return
It was October 19th, 2018. The night that I prayed back through and decided to stop running from God. It was such a paramount moment. I can remember being surrounded by those that had prayed for years that I’d find my way back. “They were all there…”
“Humankind’s greatest elevation” is not a physical place but rather it is the ground in which mere man connects with an omnipotent God.
It is said that heaven rejoices over one sinner that repents. I often wonder what that sounds like. Perhaps there are “cascading melodies of the redeemed”.
“As I slowly opened my eyes, Sinister black clouds began to swallow blue skies.Terror ran through my veins As my mountain top began to change. I looked to my left and to my right…Frantically, I began to search for higher ground, but there was none. Soon, it began to envelop the others, “No…no…no!” I shuttered as I furiously reached out for a savior But their outstretched hands disappeared as if they were vapor.
a change in weather
We hear messages about the prodigal’s return and I love them… but what about when the party was over and the lights went out? Having been a prodigal, I have a hard time believing that everything was rainbows and butterflies. I can honestly say that the season that followed my decision to come back to God was anything but that. My mountaintop began to quickly change...
“As I fell to my knees, hope began to plummet. I was alone, on this seemingly God forsaken summit…Or so I thought…A voice I knew well came near,“What an unforgiving place. Did I not tell you? You don’t belong here.”
“You’re a fool if you think things can be better…Come with me, you’re destined for much warmer weather…Come child, don’t waste any more of their time. You’ll only let them down again…You’re alone! There is no one here for you but me!…Try as you may, something so damaged will never be loved by a God so good!”
alone…or so i thought
Although I was surrounded by people that loved me and a church that deeply cared for me, I had never felt more alone.
I wonder what that first night back in the Father’s house was like for the prodigal. I can see the father blowing out the candle next to his bed in the next room. The house is silent, and then through the prodigal’s open window drifts a familiar voice.
We associate the devil with the valleys but fail to remember that he is called the “Prince of the Power of the Air”. The devil isn’t afraid of heights. Did he not take Jesus to a high place?
*As a young man I struggled with feeling like I’d never get the victory over certain things in my life. When I came back, the devil used the same tactics he had always used on me. Like hail stones, I was pelted by these thoughts continuously. These voices were loud and accusatory.
Yet there was another voice. It wasn’t loud or aggressive.
“I believe in you…” it said…I believe in you. I love you…Stay strong…I’m proud of you…My confidence in you is unwavering and without withering…
FIGHT!… FIGHT!… FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, FIGHT!”
the voice
Many people will probably assume that “the voice” in The Summit was God. And they’d be correct. But more specifically, it was a preacher who God used to speak to me. Up until now, few people know that these words from The Summit are actual text messages from that preacher to me. They were like life-support in my darkest moment thus far.
If you have made it this far in reading, I want to challenge you (the church) to reach out to someone who is in the process of coming back, because it is a process. Too many times we rejoice at the prodigal’s return and then leave them on the mountain top to fight the devil alone. If I didn’t have a “voice” in my life, I don’t know that I would’ve made it.
As I lifted my head to see my saving grace, Tears began to stream down my ice covered face. For just when I thought nothing sure was left, Behold, hewn out in the side of the mountain, was a clef…
As love overshadowed fear.
Then began a process of restoration,
As the God of the universe performed His reclamation.
…If I make my bed in hell, thou art there. And if I ascend to the heavens, thou art there. In the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast.”
Looking back and I can say with confidence that I was never alone. He said “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” I have found that to be so very true. For not only will you find him in the valleys, but you will also find him on The Summit.
-KG